I love the verse from Psalm 40:1-2, "I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand". This verse takes me back to several episodes in my life that certainly have been turning points. One was a day almost 7 1/2 years ago that has forever changed my life. I found out some of the most devastating news one could hear. The actual event doesn't really matter at this point, but the excruciating hurtfulness and the magnitude of what this would mean for my life and the life of my family hurt me to the core. I made a permanent hole in my heart, and to this day it still fills up with doubt and fear and I wonder if it will ever be whole again.
I did turn to God and for a while I thought all was healed, but it's ugly head reared itself up again and again. Every time I would try to bury it, it would peak it's head up. It has been an on going battle for over 7 long years. I have been dealing with the mire of this situation for so long that it has worn me out. I have developed anxiety, depression, bitterness and anger and each passing year, it seems to get worse, but my faith seems to get stronger....I ask you, how is that possible? I have forgiven and forgiven until I just can't forgive anymore, how long does this have to last? Matthew 18: 21-22 says "Lord how often shall my brother sin against me and I forgive him? Up to seven times? Jesus said to him, 'I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven'". Now that is a hard number that we can understand, 7 x 70 is 490 but I don't believe he actually meant to put an actual number to it, but to say that we should always offer forgiveness!
In February of this year, I cracked. I wound up in the Emergency Department a total wreck, I didn't want my life to go on; I wanted the pain to stop! Fortunately, because of my faith and my love for my girls, I called out to someone for help. That led me to the hospital and all I could say was "I am so tired"; over and over again and cry hysterically. It took medication to calm me down and to get me to the point where I could tell the nurse what triggered this episode and I had to relive everything over again...to a stranger.
The truth is that I had let that junk, that sediment that I kept pushing down to forget about it, build up and build up until it just exploded. I ran out of energy to fight any longer and I entered a very dark place in my life. The truth is, that I expected to go about life in a way that is expected of a Christian/Christian wife and go about my business like everything was hunky dory, but it is NOT! I am so thankful that the light of Jesus is in my life and those I surround myself with, because without the love and support of some very Godly friends, I would not have made it through that day. Now I did go to counseling and work through a few things, but the truth is, if you keep facing the very thing that caused you pain, will the pain truly ever go away? I truly believe that God will bring peace to the situation; whether he removes that pain or buries it, who knows! Only God does!
I know that I am not completely on that rock with a firm stance, and I am slowly coming out of the slimy pit and working through the mire, but I have a hope, a faith that God will use this "thing" in my life for His good. Romans 8:28 says that all things work together for the good of those that love Jesus who are called according to His purpose. I can't imagine the pain that I have been living through the last 7 years of my life could ever be a something good, but I believe the scriptures and pray every day that God will use me to guide someone else and in the end, He will get the glory!
Thursday, October 18, 2012
Friday, October 12, 2012
You are a masterpiece!
Ephesians 2:10
New King James Version (NKJV)
10 For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them.
It is hard to truly make a spiritual change in your life until you see yourself as God sees you. It is almost impossible to change or fix something without first knowing where the flaw is or what is broke. We need to remember that we are created in the perfect image of Christ. At the very core of our spiritual being, we ARE perfect because GOD DOES NOT MAKE MISTAKES!!!!
In the verse referenced above, we are called His workmanship. Webster's defines it as something effected or produced; the skill of a workman or the quality imparted to something in the process of making it. Some versions of the Bible use the work masterpiece or handiwork in it's place. From the beginning of the Bible (Genesis 1:26-27) we are told we were created in His image. This means as a workmanship, or masterpiece, we have been imparted with the qualities of Jesus since we were made in His image.
With that in mind, I decided to find out what the qualities of Jesus were. After a little bit of research, I found there are over 200 bible verses about the character and quality of Jesus. To boil it down to something simple, we just need to look at the Fruits of the Spirit.
22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,23 gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.
To reveal the image of Christ in us and to expose the fruits of the spirit in our lives it involves making changes, restoring us to the perfect spiritual being we can be. Now I don't believe any of us will ever see that this side of heaven, but we are instructed to keep striving for it and live like Christ.
While praying over this today, the painting ‘Ecce Homo’ by the artist Elias Garcia Martinez,that had been displayed in the Sanctuary of Mercy Church at Borja near Zaragoza for 120 year and then destroyed by painting over the original image, kept coming to mind.
The artist was a local and this was his masterpiece. His family cherished it though it had no monetary value. The 80 year old amateur art restorer thought she could help restore the picture to it's once original brilliance. The picture is of Christ with a crown of thorns and clearly had worn over time, and the image that had been painted had faded and collected years of dirt and dust in the very pores of it's fabric.
Art restoration involves tediously removing all the dirt from the pores and crevices of the painting and then carefully added paint (called stippling) to match up to the original. Some say that restoration is wrong because while the intention is good, the masterpiece could be destroyed however, Michelangelo's statue of David has been cleaned several times with no damage. The "Ecco Homo" was destroyed almost beyond recognition b/c the layers of dirt and grime and the correct process of added the image back to the canvas was not done.
In many ways, we are like an old masterpiece that needs to be restored. We need to remove layers of sin from our spiritual body and then begin to add the image back onto the canvas. We can do this by practicing and live by the Fruits of the spirit, to live more like Christ did.
Love: agape - self-giving love that gives freely without asking anything in return and does not consider the worth of the object (see John 13:34-35, 1 John 4:8, 1 John 4:16)
Joy: spirit given expression that flourished best in hard times. It is not a human based emotion that comes and goes, calm delight (see Nehemiah 8:10, Luke 10:21, John 15:11)
Peace: tranquility, a state of rest that comes from seeking God (John 14:27, 1 Thess 5:23, 2 Thess 3:16, 2 Cor 13:11)
"Peace is not the absence of conflict, but the presence of God no matter what the conflict." - anonymous
Patience: constancy, perseverance,, steadfastness (see Heb 10:36, Heb 6:12 James 5:10-11)
Kindness: is not being nice, in contrast to nice which is agreeable, kindness is acting for the good of people regardless of what they do, sweetness of disposition or gentleness when dealing with others. In plain words, the ability to act for the welfare of those taxing your patience. (See Rom 2:4, Rom 11:22, Eph 2:7, 2 Cor 6:6)
Goodness: state or quality of good, moral excellence, the best part of anything (see 2 Thes 1:11, Titus 3:4, Heb 6:5)
Faithfulness: committing oneself to something or someone, requires personal resolve to not wonder away (see Isaiah 25:1, Rome 3:2-4, Jeremiah 31:14
Gentleness: a disposition that is even-tempered, tranquil, unpretentious, having your passions under control (see Sam 22:36, psalm 18:35, 2Cor 10:1)
There are so many more qualities of Jesus that a book could be written about them...Oh wait, there was, it is called the Bible!! Read the Bible to discover more about who Christ was and how we are to be like Him. As Christians, we are to live by these qualities in our everyday life.
It is hard to truly make a spiritual change in your life until you see yourself as God sees you. It is almost impossible to change or fix something without first knowing where the flaw is or what is broke. We need to remember that we are created in the perfect image of Christ. At the very core of our spiritual being, we ARE perfect because GOD DOES NOT MAKE MISTAKES!!!!
In the verse referenced above, we are called His workmanship. Webster's defines it as something effected or produced; the skill of a workman or the quality imparted to something in the process of making it. Some versions of the Bible use the work masterpiece or handiwork in it's place. From the beginning of the Bible (Genesis 1:26-27) we are told we were created in His image. This means as a workmanship, or masterpiece, we have been imparted with the qualities of Jesus since we were made in His image.
With that in mind, I decided to find out what the qualities of Jesus were. After a little bit of research, I found there are over 200 bible verses about the character and quality of Jesus. To boil it down to something simple, we just need to look at the Fruits of the Spirit.
Galatians 5:22-23
English Standard Version (ESV)
To reveal the image of Christ in us and to expose the fruits of the spirit in our lives it involves making changes, restoring us to the perfect spiritual being we can be. Now I don't believe any of us will ever see that this side of heaven, but we are instructed to keep striving for it and live like Christ.
While praying over this today, the painting ‘Ecce Homo’ by the artist Elias Garcia Martinez,that had been displayed in the Sanctuary of Mercy Church at Borja near Zaragoza for 120 year and then destroyed by painting over the original image, kept coming to mind.
The artist was a local and this was his masterpiece. His family cherished it though it had no monetary value. The 80 year old amateur art restorer thought she could help restore the picture to it's once original brilliance. The picture is of Christ with a crown of thorns and clearly had worn over time, and the image that had been painted had faded and collected years of dirt and dust in the very pores of it's fabric.
Art restoration involves tediously removing all the dirt from the pores and crevices of the painting and then carefully added paint (called stippling) to match up to the original. Some say that restoration is wrong because while the intention is good, the masterpiece could be destroyed however, Michelangelo's statue of David has been cleaned several times with no damage. The "Ecco Homo" was destroyed almost beyond recognition b/c the layers of dirt and grime and the correct process of added the image back to the canvas was not done.
In many ways, we are like an old masterpiece that needs to be restored. We need to remove layers of sin from our spiritual body and then begin to add the image back onto the canvas. We can do this by practicing and live by the Fruits of the spirit, to live more like Christ did.
Love: agape - self-giving love that gives freely without asking anything in return and does not consider the worth of the object (see John 13:34-35, 1 John 4:8, 1 John 4:16)
Joy: spirit given expression that flourished best in hard times. It is not a human based emotion that comes and goes, calm delight (see Nehemiah 8:10, Luke 10:21, John 15:11)
Peace: tranquility, a state of rest that comes from seeking God (John 14:27, 1 Thess 5:23, 2 Thess 3:16, 2 Cor 13:11)
"Peace is not the absence of conflict, but the presence of God no matter what the conflict." - anonymous
Patience: constancy, perseverance,, steadfastness (see Heb 10:36, Heb 6:12 James 5:10-11)
Kindness: is not being nice, in contrast to nice which is agreeable, kindness is acting for the good of people regardless of what they do, sweetness of disposition or gentleness when dealing with others. In plain words, the ability to act for the welfare of those taxing your patience. (See Rom 2:4, Rom 11:22, Eph 2:7, 2 Cor 6:6)
Goodness: state or quality of good, moral excellence, the best part of anything (see 2 Thes 1:11, Titus 3:4, Heb 6:5)
Faithfulness: committing oneself to something or someone, requires personal resolve to not wonder away (see Isaiah 25:1, Rome 3:2-4, Jeremiah 31:14
Gentleness: a disposition that is even-tempered, tranquil, unpretentious, having your passions under control (see Sam 22:36, psalm 18:35, 2Cor 10:1)
There are so many more qualities of Jesus that a book could be written about them...Oh wait, there was, it is called the Bible!! Read the Bible to discover more about who Christ was and how we are to be like Him. As Christians, we are to live by these qualities in our everyday life.
Wednesday, October 10, 2012
Tuesday, October 9, 2012
Beginning your trip....Again?!
Today's post was born out of my group bible study lesson from today. But I decided to expand on my thoughts here so I could ramble at will..... :-)
I like to have printed copies of my bible study lessons because I like to make comments about things as I read through it. This helps me to pray about the lesson and the truths in it when I finish reading it. One of the statements in today's lesson is that you will fail at some point in keeping your commitment to spend time with God but the key to victory in this area is to simply begin again.....my comments on this was - I seem to begin and begin and begin and begin. Will I ever stop beginning and actually go!
Hebrews 12:1b is one of my favorite verses but I like the NLT version better: Let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us. This is the verse that greets you when you go to my blog page. I have started so many things such as training for a 5k, training my spiritual life and just life in general that I decided to "blog" about it for accountability. It just seems interesting to me that I have used this same mindset we are studying about today for so long and still trying to live by it, but have I have finished, have I actually reached my goal? Certainly not, I just keep failing and beginning again!
I am still trying to discover my life plan, still learning to rest (I also happen to think naps are a waste of time as did the author of the bible study lesson I am reading and feel guilty whenever I take one) and learning to put off that extra baggage so we can run the race. I do believe that I will finish training for and actually run a 5k one day, but my spiritual journey will not be over until the Lord calls me home, so with that, it is imperative to begin as many times as we need to run with endurance the race God has set before us!
I does get tiring though, constantly beginning again both the 5k training and my spiritual life. It is like going on a trip. You get all packed, get in the car, head down the driveway and remember you forgot something so you go back. Do this over and over again and you will never get on the road and get on your trip, you will never see the beautiful things God has planned for you on this journey. I makes me sad to think how many wonderful and amazing things I have missed out on because I keep starting my journey over and over but never actually get on the trip. I know that we are to run with everything we got on the trip we have been given, but I feel like I am a car on blocks and the engine is reving and reving. I am trying to go, but my wheels are just spinning and going no where. I am still trying to figure out how to come down off those blocks and begin driving somewhere!
It can be very discouraging at times, a lot of times lately. I know there is more out there, I am just not sure how to get there without knocking the car off the blocks and doing some damage to the underside of the car or its surroundings so it can finally get on this wonderful trip!
I like to have printed copies of my bible study lessons because I like to make comments about things as I read through it. This helps me to pray about the lesson and the truths in it when I finish reading it. One of the statements in today's lesson is that you will fail at some point in keeping your commitment to spend time with God but the key to victory in this area is to simply begin again.....my comments on this was - I seem to begin and begin and begin and begin. Will I ever stop beginning and actually go!
Hebrews 12:1b is one of my favorite verses but I like the NLT version better: Let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us. This is the verse that greets you when you go to my blog page. I have started so many things such as training for a 5k, training my spiritual life and just life in general that I decided to "blog" about it for accountability. It just seems interesting to me that I have used this same mindset we are studying about today for so long and still trying to live by it, but have I have finished, have I actually reached my goal? Certainly not, I just keep failing and beginning again!
I am still trying to discover my life plan, still learning to rest (I also happen to think naps are a waste of time as did the author of the bible study lesson I am reading and feel guilty whenever I take one) and learning to put off that extra baggage so we can run the race. I do believe that I will finish training for and actually run a 5k one day, but my spiritual journey will not be over until the Lord calls me home, so with that, it is imperative to begin as many times as we need to run with endurance the race God has set before us!
I does get tiring though, constantly beginning again both the 5k training and my spiritual life. It is like going on a trip. You get all packed, get in the car, head down the driveway and remember you forgot something so you go back. Do this over and over again and you will never get on the road and get on your trip, you will never see the beautiful things God has planned for you on this journey. I makes me sad to think how many wonderful and amazing things I have missed out on because I keep starting my journey over and over but never actually get on the trip. I know that we are to run with everything we got on the trip we have been given, but I feel like I am a car on blocks and the engine is reving and reving. I am trying to go, but my wheels are just spinning and going no where. I am still trying to figure out how to come down off those blocks and begin driving somewhere!
It can be very discouraging at times, a lot of times lately. I know there is more out there, I am just not sure how to get there without knocking the car off the blocks and doing some damage to the underside of the car or its surroundings so it can finally get on this wonderful trip!
Sunday, October 7, 2012
Organizing your homelife
I have always struggled with organizing my home life. My desk, at work (when I had one), was always organized, but somehow, I can't seem to get there at home. So I have come across a blog that shows how to do this in 31 days. It is great! Check out her blog/ website at http://www.organizinghomelife.com/. She includes printables to help you make your own home management binder.
I think I need to try and do something like this with my spiritual life; find a way to organize it! I am not sure how you would go about putting that into a binder, but certainly would be interesting to try. It could be something like "Organizing Your Spiritual Life 101" I would imagine it would include something like 1) Favorite Verses 2) Weekly/ Monthly Bible Study 3) Journal entries 4) Prayer lists 5)Your prayers written out. I am just not sure it would all fit into one binder. I seem to get long winded at times, but it is just a thought!!
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