Well, today is my birthday. I am 42 today. 42 years ago, Neil Armstrong became the first human to step foot on the moon, and uttered those famous words; "That's one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind." 42 years ago, my mom was in labor at the sweet age of 15, giving birth to her first baby daughter. My father told me once that he wanted to name me Apollo after the lunar module that landed on the moon, but mom had more sense and named me Paula. My mother was a smart woman!!
A lot has happened in the past 42 years. Some of which, I am ashamed of, most things though, I have no regrets. Everything in my life has led me to this point. The point that I am searching; searching for something that I am not even sure what it is. I believe that I am saved, believe that Christ died for me and proclaim Him whenever I can, but still something is missing. I think this is the reason I am struggling with so many things in life.
My pastor is teaching on blessings right now and last Sunday he mentioned that God has given everyone the blessing of a burden for something. His was reaching the lost and disconnected and I became acutely aware that I don't know what my blessing is. What burden has God laid on my heart? What is my purpose on this earth for the kingdom? The only thing lately that I seem to have any passion about is learning to eat healthy and loosing weight. I want to make a difference in my kids' lives so they will grow up and be healthy and live a long and happy life.
I guess my journey is just like the statement made by Neil Armstrong; one small step for man - that would be fixing my life, learning to eat right, and getting in shape and training to run the 5K. One giant leap for mankind - that would be learning how to relay the same information to my family and figure out how God would want me to use the information to benefit the kingdom of God.
I will keep plugging away and reading my bible and praying until I figure out what is missing and what my blessing of a burden is so I can make a difference in the kingdom of God. I have a long way to go to meet my goal of running a 5K and loosing 50 lbs, but it is a journey that I still wish to travel and whatever baggage God feels I need to deal with along the way, I will!!
Thanks for reading and talk to you soon!
