Carried to the Table

Today was a very emotional day for me in so many facets. I had recently made two critical decisions in my life that would effect everyone I knew and loved, and both were going to hurt me and them. I had been praying and seeking God's will in this, I felt things were broken; I was broken and I was tired of feeling this way. I had been sharing all this with a dear friend and praying for the right time , no matter how difficult it was going to be, I needed to make a change, one that was years overdue...or so I thought.

My daughter, Grace, can sing like an angel; and today, God used her in a very special way through a song; "Carried to the the Table". It was an unexpected touch from God, I always expect God to show up, but today, He showed up and was talking to me face to face. It is rare that I can say that and truly believe that He was there. As I listened to my daughter sing in that angelic voice, I didn't open my eyes the entire time the words were being sung because I really believe He was there, right beside me, reminding me how broken I am WITHOUT HIM.

"Wounded and forsaken,
I was shattered by the fall,
Broken and forgotten
feeling lost and all alone"

This is exactly how I have been feeling. I am failing at so many things in my life lately. I have been failing on my diet, spiritually I have not been living up to what I know I should be and personally, things looked bleak and I felt like I have been living in a lie for years, letting everyone think that things are honky dory, when inside I was being torn apart because I just wanted no part of it any longer. I wanted OUT and I know that is not what God had intended. I have never felt so alone in my life then I have the last few months.

"I was carried to the table,
seated where I don't belong,
Carried to the table,
swept away by His love.
And I don't see my brokenness anymore,
When I'm seated at the the table of the Lord
I'm carried to the table
The table of the Lord"

As those beautiful words began to ring out, I realized, that at that moment, I was being carried to the Lord's table. He was sitting right there with me, face to face. I couldn't open my eyes. I really wanted to watch Grace sing this song, but I was so overwhelmed by God's presence,that I couldn't. I physically could not open my eyes.

"Fighting thoughts of fear
and wondering why He called my name,
am I good enough to share this cup?
this world has left me lame,
even in my weakness,
the Savior called my name
in His Holy presence
I 'm healed and unashamed"

All I could see was God, reaching out to me, loving me; tears were streaming down my face as I realized that I have been trying to handle this again, all by myself. I really thought that God was guiding me, but God is not about tearing down, but building up. With His love, the brokenness was healed and swept away.

I have been struggling with a lot lately, and I have been seeking God's will, but in my haste to get an answer and to "fix" things on my own, I misunderstood what God was trying to tell me. Today, through a song sung during our worship time at church, God reached out to me, sat with me, face to face and reminded my how much HE LOVES ME, know matter what else is going on in my life, nothing will change the one true love in my life.

Christ is real food for the soul, and to embrace and feed on Him produces freedom from so many things that we allow to bog us down. I have a serious habit of stress eating, and I have been doing a lot of it lately. I have totally blown my diet and exercise routine that I had gotten myself on because I was trying to handle this problem, again and again, on my own. Today, God made me realize that I must rely on HIM and his food. Real and true belief in Christ involves turning away from finding our satisfaction in earthly things, to turning to Christ to fill us, satisfy our hearts and give us life.

Man does not live on bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God (Matthew 4:4)

So I challenge you to google the song "Carried to the Table" by the Lelands and listen to the entire song or just google the lyrics. You will see how God has and will carry you to the table if you will open your hearts and let him. He is the only satisfying thing we need in our life.

Now I am not saying that the situations I have been praying about just miraculously fixed themselves today, but I am saying that I don't feel so alone and broken any more and if I continue to seek him and eat from His table, then I will be satisfied in so many different ways in my life.

Have you been carried to the table recently?