You never let go...

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death
Your perfect love is casting out fear
And even when I m caught in the middle of the storms of this life
I won t turn back
I know You are near

And I will fear no evil
For my God is with me
And if my God is with me
Whom then shall I fear?
Whom then shall I fear?

Chorus:
Oh no, You never let go
Through the calm and through the storm
Oh no, You never let go
In every high and every low
Oh no, You never let go
Lord, You never let go of me

And I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on
A glorious light beyond all compare
And there will be an end to these troubles
But until that day comes
We ll live to know You here on the earth

Chorus:

Yes, I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on
And there will be an end to these troubles
But until that day comes
Still I will praise You, still I will praise You

~~~Matt Redman

I was sitting here this morning in my quiet time with the Lord and this song was playing in the backround and I just broke down crying. To look at me and my family, you would think we were a happy normal family. But, what you may not see is that we have trials and tribulations just like everyone else. We have financial problems, we get into fights with our children, most especially our almost 17 year old who wants to act grown, but still needs her mommy. Chuck and I may look like the happy couple married almost 18 years, but we have dark areas in our past that we would rather leave in the past. And did you know that I have been on medicine for depression, that I don't like myself very much and can't stand to see me in anything that doesn't cover nearly every inch of my body???

In all this, God has never left my side. No matter how many times I may turn my back on him, he never turns His back on me. How wonderful to have a love that will withstand any storm, any trouble, any darkness. I have realized over the years that in my darkest hour, God was always there. That time 6 years ago when I wanted to drive my car into a brick wall at high speed because of a personal trial I was going through, God prompted me to make a phone call for help and on the other line was a dear friend telling me how much she loved me and reminding me how much God loves me. Even now, God has given me a true confidant, a very Godly, wise woman, someone I can share my deepest secrets with. Someone who helps keep me grounded and always look at things through God's eyes.

Today I am down nearly 22 lbs since the first of the year, and I have finally set a date for my first 5K. It will be May 12 at the Susan G Coman 5K at Atlantic Station. It certainly has not been easy but I have made a decision to not let the things of my darkness weigh me down. I am making a change, starting with me in mind, body and soul. I feel better since I am eating better and exercising. I am beginning to see changes in my body and fitting into smaller clothes. I feel much happier and I am weaning off my medicine for depression and my quiet time with my Savior is getting better. God's perfect love IS casting our fear and I know there is a light at the end, one day there will be an end to these troubles, but until that day comes, "Still I will praise Him". My quiet time with the Lord has become so precious to me that I almost grieve the mornings I miss it.

I am so thankful for the people God has placed in my life at this time, some he has been preparing for years and others are newcomers, but everyone is special to me and I know, has a purpose in my life. These are God's gifts to me right now and I hope I can be as good for them as they are for me. My heart aches right now for one who has just lost her job. I know she has been preparing for this for sometime, as she knew the time was coming, but it is still devastating. It changes your way of life, your daily routine. I know, I have been there, but God brought me out of that dark time and he will her too. I pray that God will lift her up today, give her a clear head and a peace over that situation. This didn't take Him by surprise. There is a purpose behind this and if we wait upon the Lord, He will guide our paths. I am learning that myself and was reminded of that very thing just the other day from this same friend. Isn't it great how God works!!!

I have had years and years of troubles, pain and darkness and the one thing we all need to remember, God never let's go through the calm and through the storm, in every high and every low. All we have to do is to remember to praise Him!!